By Matt Tobey and Claire Zulkey
Missed Connections
#1
That's not how you spell that. #2 I know it felt like it was, but that
wasn't a girl:
"anyone know a girl named Yunik?"
"I say let it grow out, just trim up the sides. Guys like the bush!"
Millions of pubic lice all over the world concur.
"Looking out my window in between reading CL. What the hell does 420 mean?"
Oh shit, he or she is totally a cop. Be cool. Just be fucking cool. Holy fucking shit. 420? Never heard of it. Why, do I look like I'd know?
Man,
if I had a nickel for every time I heard this old line:
"Regalame un dia de lluvia que me encanta el color gris
Regalame tu silencio que sobran las palabras …"
Casual Encounters
Watch out, ladies. Bill O'Reilly is on the prowl:
"Sweet, handsome patriot want to get sucked and fucked while I
watch Baghdad get liberated. I would also like a gal that would let me
smear red white and blue finger paints all over her mammouth tits. talk
soon"
Good looking man looking for wrinkled old bag to fuck
"I am healthy and handsome. I am looking to pity fuck and old
lady who has not gotten laid in years. Just trying to do my part"
Yes, perhaps if we all "did our part" this topsy-turvy world of ours might not be such a worrisome and confusing place. Maybe if we all took a little time away from our selfish lives and pity fucked a wrinkled old bag who has not gotten laid in years, Martin Luther King Jr. could stop dreaming and John Lennon could cease his imagining. Bravo, sir! Bravo! You're an example to all of us.
"Let me be clear... I am not looking for male companionship. I
am straight. There is no debate about this... It would be great if you
are a supermodel..."
What about male supermodels? Or, a really, really good-looking model who's just shy of supermodel status?
Golden
showers spankings, etc. for you from nubian priestess.
Whoah! Golden showers from a Nubian priestess! Like, how much gold are we talking about? Enough to retire on?
D&D free SWM willing to help SWF to concieve
"I never knew my dad, but I did know, thanks to the internet, that
he was overweight (but trying to lose weight) and had a tenuous grasp
on spelling."
How to make your ad stand out? Slap a truly disturbing headline on it.
You
would not have to participate, just sit back and watch as she goes down
on me
I am currently unemployed. I sit back and watch things for free. If they're willing to pay, I'm their girl.
...
if I don't get to hug and shluff (as in Zzz) with a cute girl soon, I'll
lose my mind.
You could probably reach your goal if you began speaking English.
And finally...
"Also, nobody cares about The Black Table."
What? Is this true? I quit.
Gee, I wish I were a Williamsburg hipster, because then all my
time online talking about websites and their contributors would seem so
much cooler.
*BT*
Matt Tobey rocks the party at Haypenny. Claire Zulkey is the party at Zulkey. Lindsay Robertson is on vacation. She'll be back next week.
