|WEEK IN CRAIG: THE SPORKING QUESTION.|
|By Amy Blair||
There were approximately 700 posts on Missed Connections this week about racism in New York. Honestly, I read, uh, about three of them. I did some independent research among friends who read Craigslist -- and guess what -- everyone agreed, the arguments were retarded.
However, among the wasteland of posts about white men dating Asian women, black men dating white women and whether or not this guy should sleep with his girlfriend's sister, there was one topic that grabbed my attention.
Sporks. I haven't thought about a spork in a long time. Reading craigslist this week made me realize that I don't give a rat's ass about some anonymous white guy's curiosity about dating black women. However, I've totally got to get myself a spork.
because i found out a long time ago that spoons do not easily penetrate hard ice cream (even if it does, you end up launching slivers everywhere) and i started using a fork to eat ice cream. but i am sick of the abuse i get for eating ice cream with a fork. i only find plastic sporks that you buy by the dozens and they don't work for shit for ice cream. a metal spork would be perfect - not pliable, and i can hide the tip in the ice cream if anyone starts watching. this is serious. (and no, i cannot wait until the ice cream melts a bit)
Craigslist proves once again that you can ask just about anything, and you will get an answer.
I think you could find a metal spork in an army/ navy supply store or a camping store. I've seen them in both places, they usually come in a set with a true spoon and a knife and snap together for camping. Also try looking some place that sells kids' stuff, i've seen little kid sporks. good luck
However, the true spirit of Craiglist lays in the fact that you will never get just one answer when you are seeking anonymous advice. Much like how when one jackass makes a stupid remark about race, every response under the sun pours in. But again, I can't read that crap. What fascinates me is that there aren't just plain metal sporks. There are TITANIUM sporks.
According to the website, for just $9.45 you can join the "CULT OF THE TITANIUM SPORK." I don't know about the rest of you, but sign me up. I think that I could use a titanium spork to eat mashed potatoes as well as ice cream. Come to think of it, I could just throw out all of my forks and spoons and use only the spork. What's the point of having both, if you can get the best of both worlds in one handy dandy utensil? A TITANIUM utensil, I might add.
Shocking as this may be, what with all the race-baiting going on, the spork garnered but one more response before fizzling out. This broke my heart. It honestly did. I'm certain that people have more to say about sporks.
Even stranger, the spork thread died, but the name game thread thrived:
there are names that i like. i know it's shallow, but boy would i love to date a boy named one of the following:
For anyone not keeping up, there were endless follow-up lists to this post. Endless, endless, endless lists of names. Before falling asleep on my keyboard, I read through about 38 lists and found not one mention of my favorite name: Spork.
Why don't people like the name Spork?
If I met a guy named Spork, I'd die happy. Especially if he didn't say dicktardly things like this:
I don't wan to stir up a whole bunch of shit, but white girls who go for black guys are usually trashy. Hate me if you want, I'm just saying. They don't have to be fat or ugly, though a lot of them are, but usually if they're not fat or ugly they're messed up in different ways.
OK now I've stepped in it so I'll try to put this differently. Forgive me for using a generalization. But it has been my expierience that a large number of women in mixed relationships.(white women)Tend to in some way not live up to the average white males wants. i.e. weight, looks , boob size, white males atleast appear to be a bit more into physical values at first. Where as black men seem to appreciate a women for other attributes.
But hey, like I said, I'm not going to comment on the race arguments that went on this week. I only use this post to illustrate the kinds of things my Spork would not say.
Forget it. I just like the word Spork. Spork, spork, spork.
Now, honestly, that was just a little less inane than the race arguments,
was it not? Just a little?
Amy Blair is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.