|WEEK IN CRAIG: BLACKOUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT.|
|By Amy Blair||
I'm pretty sure that I'm the only loser who missed out on the blackout fuckfest that apparently went down everywhere from the Bronx to Staten Island last Thursday night. It's just my shitty luck that during the biggest love-in since Woodstock I would be holed up with a torn ligament in my ankle, unable to enjoy the aimless wandering and fortuitous hook-ups that seemed to have been spontaneously occurring throughout the city.
Still, even though I was hobbling around miserably and missed out on all the bacchanalia, I still love New Yorkers for their ability to realize that when the city lights go down, you might as well make the most of it and get all Armageddon freaky wit' yo' bad self.
Of course, now that my damned ruin-all-the-fun ankle is healed, the city's lit up like the Fourth of Fucking July. I can only hope that the power grid really is as screwed up and antiquated as they say it is: Mama needs some blackout booty like nobody's business.
Tell me, isn't this just the most romantic darned thing you've ever heard?
blame it on the blackout, blame it on the drinks... thanks for the romp on the stairs, but now my back is black and blue and bruised all over... as is another part of me. Glad we finally moved to someplace softer, but I'm still bruised...
Imagine -- the power is out, you're all liquored up and some dude is humping you black and blue in a dark, deserted stairwell. Someone should really make a Meg Ryan movie out of this shit. And she wasn't the only one making the most of the blackout:
hey michael: thanks for the walk home and the impromptu make out session at 4am in the pitch black.
you're hot, and entertaining, and i'd call you, but you're also cocky and can't hold your booze. plus, i doubt you'd call ME, given that you said something lame like "i don't do that" when i brought up the digits thing. who knows, maybe my first impression was a little off, given the wacko circumstances. maybe you were 8x more trashed than you seemed - and you seemed pretty darn blotto! did you think you were being sneaky, doing shots by yourself at the bar?
getting traffic cones stuck on fire escapes and mooning fire trucks is fun and all, but really now - how many nights would we be able to go on dates like that?
but thanks for the drink!
Doesn't that just sound like the perfect end to a perfect blackout? If it weren't for my damned ankle, I tell you, I'd have been making out with every cocky boozehound on the eastern seaboard. We'd be sticking traffic cones on fire escapes and mooning every fire truck in sight. It would have been a grand old time. Damn you, ankle, damn you!
Although, thankfully I can take solace in the fact that there were at least one or two other losers like me who also found Thursday to be one big waste of a blackout:
wtf where was mine?
Amen, brother. Loud and clear.
It seems that Tompkins Square Park was the booty bastion of the blackout.
Anyone else catch this? I was only there for maybe 15 minutes, but there were soooo many good looking people there, and it was tons of fun. If you didn't see it, basically they took a couple garbage cans filled with newspapers and stuff and lit them on fire in the middle of the park, and they were playing makeshift drums in an African-sounding rhythm. People were dancing, running through the fire, etc. It probably cost the park a few hundred dollars in burnt garbage cans and a small piece of fence, but, if that's as bad as NY got during a blackout, I think we did pretty good. :)
Anyway, if you have pictures of this or if you were a female in attendance, send me an e-mail. :)
Hey, if dancing around a couple of burning trashcans to an impromptu drum circle is the price you have to pay in this town to get a little piece of blackout ass, then get me some Birkenstocks and a can of kerosene -- that's a price I'm willing to pay.
Now, if only some hacker could fix it so that the power would go out
cause baby, who needs electricity when we've got
Amy Blair is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.