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  Amy Blair    

Okay, Craigslist. Now, explain something to me… how do you people take the least sexy of totally non-sexy events and somehow manage to turn them into total spooge-a-thons?

Take a protest march, for example. In my estimation, a protest march, by definition, is not a hook-up scene. Protests are not meat markets. Or sausage fests. Or make-out parties. Protests are, well, protests. People go to them to, like, PROTEST SHIT… not to get it on.

Or so I thought.

Leave it to craigslist to take a nice, safe zone like a rally for peace and turn it into an opportunity to get a little piece. Of ass.

It all started with this poster, egging on the dumdums…

Silence re that idiotic "protest" on 23rd street

How come no posts regarding that moronic "peace march" I had the misfortune of running into on Sunday. True, there weren't many of the idiots out there. Maybe 1000? Which leaves roughly 8 million New Yorkers, NOT PROTESTING. And yes, when I asked a few of them what it was all about (I thought it was some parade for Spring) no one could actually articulate what they were doing there other than some anti-Bush ranting. Stupid fuckers. THIS WAR WILL CONTINUE UNTIL EVERY TERRORIST IS DEAD. IF ANYTHIHG, WE WILL RACHET UP THE VIOLENCE. IRRESPECTIVE OF WHO OCCUPIES THE WHITE HOUSE THE FIGHT WILL CONTINUE UNTIL IT IS WON.

I know it's hard to tell an anti-war rally apart from a "parade for spring." But, hey -- to each his own. Although, I have to admit, this poster was onto something… clearly, this week's Missed Connections proved that, if nothing else, the craigslisters were out in full effect at the march -- and they were thinking about a lot of other things besides ousting our fine prez from the White House. In true form, craigslisters at the march were thinking about getting a little something something. AND THEY WILL NOT STOP UNTIL EACH AND EVERY AMERICAN, IRRESPECTIVE OF WHO OCCUPIES THE WHITE HOUSE, GETS LAID.

A Walk for peace Tomorrow? - 27

Hi Ladies,

I am planning to go to the Rally for justice and peace tomorrow at 12pm. I was hoping to be joined by a special attractive lady interested in the subject. We'll participate in the rally, exchange some words and few laughs, and we will see what might happens later...or else, it would simply be a rally...

take care and hope to hear from you!

I like this guy because he was thinking ahead. God forbid it "simply be a rally" when there are hottie lefty chicks loose in this city. And, you know, nothing says "first date" like wandering around in a patchouli haze, exchanging some words and a few laughs as thousands of people scream "No justice, no peace!" Rock. And. Roll.

My French Bulldog at the Peace March - w4w - 32

You seemed to appreciate my dog at that march.
It gave me an excuse to check you out.
You wore an orange-ish backpack. You were with a friend with short hair who looked Irish. At one point, you two jumped out of the flow of human traffic, I assume, to grab a snack.
You have straight, shoulder-length hair. And a beautiful smile.
I have curly hair . . . and a French Bulldog who accompanies me to peace rallies.
I bet you have a great voice. I'd love to hear it. Want to grab a coffee?

And we're off. To fully comprehend how odd these posts really are, sometimes it helps to imagine if they were announced of a supermarket intercom system. "Attention Peace Rally-ers: Would the orange backpacked girl with the Irish friend please meet The Lesbian and her French Bulldog at the coffee bar." You can't make this shit up.

Yesterday on 23rd Street by the Rally around 2pm- m4m - 28

You are beautiful in you sexy-pale kind of way. You used to date a friend of mine, so we have met once, but I don't know if you remember me. I wanted to yell your name, but you had passed before I could say anything, and I was rushing off to a meeting. Think you're an actor, around 25. You have these cute, clear glasses.

I love your sense of style, and would love to get to know you. Hit me back if you remember me.

What woman doesn't dream of being called sexy in a "pale kind of way." Aww, so sweet. And um, who wouldn't remember this guy? I mean, he dated a friend of yours once, likes to say nothing when you're around and knows more about your glasses than he does about your career.

PEACE MARCH: Photography girl with Strand bookstore bag - m4w - 24

I first saw you at the peace march standing beside one of the lifts with speakers on them. About the same time I stopped by the sidewalk to listen and watch the crowd, you climbed up on the railings to take some pictures.
The police made me move along then, and I figured that'd be the last I saw of you. But once the walk started, we ended up besides each other for a couple blocks, me on the right in a brown jacket.

As the title says, you had a camera and where carrying a Strand bookstore bag, and a gray/black jacket.

Hope you had fun at the march and you got some good pictures. And hope you see this :)

No blood for oil! Hell no, we won't go! No pictures, no peace! Oh, wait, excuse me, I got confused there for a minute. I thought we were, like, at a protest or something. This rally sounds about as political as the parking lot of a Neil Diamond concert from 1981. Eh, what can you expect? This is craigslist, after all. Let's fuck!

Anyone else who was in the peace march today? - m4w - 24

I was at the peace march today and loved it, definitely something I'll do again! I don't have anything planned tonight, so I thought I'd see if they was anyone else who went to the march and now feels like doing some "after march" stuff, whatever that may be. I suppose you don't *have* to have gone to the march, but it's definitely a shared interest to connect with!

Hey baby, I'll do some "after march" stuff with ya. *Wink, wink.* You're quite the smooth-talker, aren't ya?

p.s. All of those exclamation points are HOT!

Peace In the Middle East!! - 28

Any report backs from the march, ladies?

Wishing I could be there but stuck at work all day with an awful hangover.

Interested in your thoughts....

Now, who among us hasn't had to forego social activism due to work and hangover now and again? But, dude. Do you really think that your opaque little attempt to get chicks by asking them for news from a freaking anti-war rally is actually going to work? "Any reports back from the march, ladies?" Vomit.

Eh, forget it. I'll hop down from my high horse now. Who needs peace when there's a little poon tang in a John Kerry T-shirt just around the corner?


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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.