back to the Black Table
  Amy Blair    

Isn't it cute that people still listen to Phish?

On Thursday, the jam-band-that-killed-jam-bands played their final Brooklyn show at Keyspan Park in Coney Island. Then on Monday, they played The Late Show with David Letterman from the top of the Ed Sullivan Theater at 53rd and Broadway.

Apparently this is Phish's final tour, or something, and lots of Phishheads are, like, really, really sad, and stuff. All I know is that there were a lot of pseudo-hippies stinking the subways up like patchouli and armpit over the past week, looking more out of place in New York clomping around in their Frankenstein Birkenstocks and Hemp necklaces than Paris Hilton in Louis Vuitton on a Dairy Farm in Arkansas. (Man, that's funny. Someone really ought to make a reality show about that!)

Anyway, back in the early 90s, I saw Phish in concert a couple of times. I was pretty much chronically stoned at that time, had two dreadlocks in my purple-streaked waist-length hair (count 'em -- two dreadlocks! So very Rasta…), and had a Grateful Dead bumper sticker on the back of my shitmobile '79 Chevy Nova. I also believed that underwear was an outlandish and unnecessary accessory, that leg-shaving was an invention of the devil, and that no amount of Nitrous was too much Nitrous.

In short, I was an idiot.

Fast forward ten years, and the tie-dyed frat brigade is still in full-effect, smoking doobs and jamming out on the lawn, man. Thankfully, they left some really phresh Missed Connections this week for all of us to enjoy.

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em. We're going to a Phish concert this week.

Will you miss Phish? - 34

I've enjoyed this band for many years, beginning in 1988. I saw one of the Brooklyn shows last week and it was a somewhat sad end of an era. I was looking around and thought, wouldn't it be great to meet a woman who could share my love of many types of music, a girl with similar interests? Are you that woman?

I think it would be awkward telling folks that "we met over Phish." I'm looking for more than just a Phan: an enlightened, intelligent, worldly woman. You like jam bands but are not an unwashed crazy fanatic who sells veggie burritos (or worse) out of a van. You have a life besides an adoration of a band. You share my intellectual interests - current events, history, travel, art, fine wine. You are not averse to the fact that I was once married and have a child; that although I had a life before you, there is a possibility that the roads that we've both been on may now converge.

Drop me a line if you'll miss Phish, but know that there is so much more to share in this world.

Wow, this dude is, like, so sincere. It actually turns my stomach a little. I mean, who among us isn't looking for someone who is "more than just a Phan?" Someone who will "miss Phish, but know that there is so much more to share in this world."

God, that just breaks my little phucking heart in two.

Chat on IM? - 29

I am 29, single, and am still coming down ffrom a fun evening at the Phish show. I live in midtown, east side and would love to chat witha fun, sexy, single woman right now. I am 5'8" 175, blonde, blue eyed, and have pics. Please send your screenname and we can take it from there...

Man, if you can't get laid at a Phish concert and you need to go home and place an ad on craigslist requesting a post-drug-frenzied IM chat with any random chick who responds, you know you're doing something wrong.

I mean, come on -- everyone knows that hippie chicks are easy. And I'm not just talking easy -- I'm talking no morals, no sexual boundaries, free love Easy. They don't wear any underwear, for god's sake! You just invite them into the back of your VW bus, give them a little hash, and Boom! You're in like a pot farmer at the Bonnaroo festival.

have Phish ticket to trade to female in exchange for..... - m4w - 32

attractive, friendly, clean wm seeks willing female for rendevous sometime before thursday night phish show for an hour, more or less, in exchange for one ticket to the show. (ticket is a lawn/floor). Must be cute/attractive, and willing to enjoy safe & passionate oral & straight _ _ _. hopefully meet up in brooklyn & check into some local hotel.

Since it is currently Wed night, please respond quickly since show is tomorrow.....please send pic if possible. Enjoy

Ew, who prostitutes themselves for a freaking Phish ticket? I mean, sure, there are plenty of good reasons to hooker it up. For example, you are very poor, you have eight children, and you need to eat. Alternately, perhaps you have one of those pesky crack addictions, or you're financially indebted to a pimp, or your family has actually sold you. These are perfectly legitimate reasons for being a prostitute.

To get a lawn ticket to a Phish concert? Now that's just pathetic.

fun & brainy dude; off to see the PHISH finale - 34

..Thursday & Friday at Keystone in the 718.
Looking for wise, fine, intuitive, open, culturally aware F to come along,
'cause all of my friends are booked up.
I got an extra comp to share, drop me a letter with a pic if you'd like to come along

I'm good looking, creative, warm & fun, mid- 30's, well connected.
I look like fozzy bear but slightly more muscular.
hope to hear from you!

I look like fozzy bear but slightly more muscular? What the fuck? Phish fans are seriously disturbed.


Want More?

Hit up The Week in Craig Archive.


Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.