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  WEEK IN CRAIG: A TO VISIT TO THE CRAIGSLIST FLYOVERS.  
  Amy Blair    
   
 

So, we all agree that the big cities of America are the ones responsible for the moral corruption, the spiritual decay, the violence, the drug addiction, and the sordid sexual activity that has been rapidly spiraling out of control in this country. Yes?

Let's be honest here: That's pretty much why I confine myself to urban areas only. That and because, well, frankly I'm petrified of cows (they're terrifying, no?). I say bring on the crack monkeys! Pimps up, hos down! Yippee skippee for Crips versus Bloods! In other words, goooooo big cities!

Recently, though, I've come to a remarkable new conclusion … a lot of seriously wacked out shit goes on in America's cowtowns as well. I'm usually a big fan of being mean to people who just moved to the city from places like Indiana and the like. After all, they usually look like Jed Clampett riding into town on a turnip truck, and they get in the way when you're trying to get off the subway, and they walk slow, and they're nice to homeless people. I usually regard them as semi-retarded and try to avoid them whenever possible. However, now that Craigslist has expanded to all kinds of hick places that I've never bothered to have heard of, I'm starting to realize that a lot of these rednecks are just as disturbed and sexually insane as us city folk.

So, thanks Craig, for starting up these new boards in places like Omaha. Eugene. Salt Lake City. Albuquerque. I've learned a great lesson as a result. You don't have to be urban to be totally and completely and absolutely fucked up.

Moo!

str8/bi guy in Pittsburgh (Oakland) wanting to suck a cock - 33

Horny bi-mwm, not too expereinced, would love to suck off a hot cock. I'm 33, masc, 6', 190, br/bl, cleancut, professional, regular guy. Would really would love to have a nice cock to play with. Prefer masc, str8, bi, or married guys like myself. Uncut a plus.. Send pic and I will return. Can't host. Thanks

Pennsylvania is what I affectionately refer to as "that godforsaken state." And, when it comes to Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh is, like, the Mordor of Pennsylvania, for all you Lord Of The Rings geeks out there (I swear, I have no idea what the means. I'm cool! Really! I am!). And, in keeping with that analogy, if anyone wants to head out to Pittsburgh (aka, The Most Depressing Place On Earth) and suck Gollum's dick … well, go crazy!

Looking For Some Fun in Eugene

My buddy and I are looking for a little action. We are 2 goodlooking, masculine dudes with furry chests and 5 o'cLock shadows. Coming to Eugene sunday night for a few beers and whatever...

Admittedly, it's not often that you'll catch someone saying "that Amy Blair, now she's just the brightest bulb in the lamp, yes she is." So it should come as no surprise that I had no idea where Eugene is located. In times of crisis such as this, I usually quickly ask someone smarter than me. Far easier than consulting a map, or something.

From: Amy Blair
To: Kristen

Where's Eugene?

From: Kristen
To: Amy Blair

Umm, am I supposed to get that? Cause I don't. :(

From: Amy Blair
To: Kristen

Like, it's a city. Where?

From: Kristen
To: Amy Blair

Oh, isn't it Oregon?

From: Amy Blair
To: Kristen

Sounds good to me!

So, Oregonians, answer me this: When this poster says "We are 2 goodlooking, masculine dudes with furry chests," is that considered, um, hot?

I mean, I like a nice hairy chest as much as the next dirty old broad, but furry? Really?

Visiting Omaha - looking for hotties - m4m - 35

Hey Omaha, I've been there many times and the men are very hot, glad to see that you've finally got Craig's List. Here's the deal. I'm gonna be there on business for a week and I'm looking to have some fun in my hotel suite. Company is paying for it all, so why not? I'm 6'1", 175, 7.5" cut, brwn, blue, smootn, clean shaven and clean cut, HIV neg. I'm a masculine guy looking for other masculine guys, 25 to 35 for either one-on-one or group action at my hotel (planning at least one orgy night). I'm not into the PnP scene, drug & disease free here. I will only reply to guys who send me their stats and minimum of a face pic (other pics welcome too) in exchange for my pic.

this is in or around Downtown Hotel

There's a downtown Omaha? For reals? I mean, no offense or anything, cornhuskers, but what in the name of hell do you need with a "downtown?" What's there, the local Wal-Mart and the farmer's market? What do you do there, cow tipping and tractor pulls?

Wait, I know what you do there … you go mudding, right? A friend of mine told me about this activity. It means "driving your truck around in mud." Downtown Omaha, oh boy!

Cleveland's Oral God Looking for Fun Friday - m4w - 25

We meet. I eat. You cum. I leave.

I guarantee satisfaction. Can host if necessary.

25, 5'11, blond/blue, good looking, fun, and clean

Email for more info. No strings. No sex needed.

I can only imagine the skills of the Oral God of ... Cleveland.

Dress like a bunny, poke a carrot in my butt - w4 - 26 (Garland Area) - w4 - 26

I have it all; a running car with a sunroof, a new laptop, an apartment with hardwood floors, and a job that makes me happy. But I'm missing one thing. I've always wanted someone to dress like a bunny and stick a carrot in me.

I am: 26, white, feminine, red/brown hair, emerald eyes, 5'4", thinnish, and natural 34C's.

You should be: 18-40, any race, sex, sexuality, or build.

The bunny costume need not be too original, maybe some face paint or a set of ears. Bonus points given to full on Easter style costumes and a tail. Points taken away if you dress like Frank from Donnie Darko, that shit freaks me out. I'll supply the lube and maybe the bag of carrots. Extra bonus points given if you actually grow your own in the backyard or whatever.

Preference given to those who send a picture of themselves in some sort of bunny costume. My place or yours--I'll give you beer, software, or a book from my small but growing library (hopefully you like science).

Thanks!
-C

this is in or around Spokane

Wow. Wow wow wow wow WOW. I want you to re-read this paragraph very slowly to make sure that it really and truly sinks in. Cause, seriously, it's one of the best things in the whole wide world.

"I have it all; a running car with a sunroof, a new laptop, an apartment with hardwood floors, and a job that makes me happy. But I'm missing one thing. I've always wanted someone to dress like a bunny and stick a carrot in me."

Now if that doesn't say "bend over," what does?

As Bugs Bunny might say … he must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

 

Want More?

Hit up The Week in Craig Archive.

 

Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.