back to the Black Table
  Amy Blair    

When you first meet a handsome new stranger and you've decided that he's worthy of accompanying you on a trip down Panty Lane, you've got a couple of important things you need to do. Most people put a lot of effort into their hygiene and grooming, finding the right outfit, and making sure their apartment is neat, the sheets are clean, and the candles have been strategically placed.

However, what most people fail to realize is that these are not true deal-breakers when it comes to a first-time hook-up. Kids, I'm here to inform you that the one thing that will really make or break a hook-up is not your perfume or your choice of restaurant…what's really going to make or break a first-time hook-up is…your choice of Booty Music.

Now, I'm not perfect. I'm willing to admit that I've made some mistakes in this area over the years. For instance, a friend from college recently informed me that back in the day she always knew I was getting it on when she heard Bob Marley coming from my bedroom speakers. I'm not proud.

I also went through a dark and unfortunate period of time where I hooked up to nothing but the Smashing Pumpkins…to the point that even today when I hear "The world is a vampire" I almost drop my pants out of sheer force of habit.

There were other (slightly less humiliating) stand-by choices over the years…in high school it was Pink Floyd, Nirvana, PJ Harvey, Dr. Dre…college saw Marvin Gaye, Portishead, Otis Redding, The Fugees, Mazzy Star…

Now that I'm old and have done too many drugs, some strange songs have been getting me in the mood recently. For example, the other day I found myself getting oddly turned on by a…Journey song. That's right, inexplicably I creamed my jeans to Steve Perry crooning "lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be…oh girl, you stand by me…I'm forever yours…Faithfully." It was just so…hot.

Anyway, your music choices play an important role in those early hook-ups…and no one knows that more than these craigslisters looking to reel in the honeys to upcoming concerts. If I can offer the rest of you ANY words of advice regarding Booty Music it's don't listen to these guys.


I was planing on going to the free bowling for soup concert at rye play land tonight and then was very nicly told that the group I'm going with are all paired off... seeing as the idea of being a 5th wheel is un appealing i was wondering if their were any young males intrested in escorting me this evenging... Included... a packed sandwich for dinner, good conversation, and a promised good time How could you go wrong?!?! either way your pic gets mine Please be around my age seeing as it could be akward to show up with a 30 + year old. Thank you much

I heard a commercial on the radio the other morning advertising an upcoming Bowling For Soup concert at Rye Playland and I was amazed that this crappy band was still around, that they were playing at the local crappy amusement park FOR FREE, and that anyone -- even people who live in the craptastic town of RYE -- would be going to this concert. Then the next thing you know, I'm looking around on craigslist, and what do you know…some chick's looking for a date to the Bowling For Soup concert.

Oh, and by the way, for all my 30-year old guy friends who get all stupid on themselves over the hot NYU girls every spring, I'd like to bring the following line to your attention: "Please be around my age seeing as it could be akward (sic) to show up with a 30+ year old."

Thank you much.

Huey Lewis in Atlantic City this Sunday - 45

Anyone interested in going with me Sunday the 28th? I'm a major fan, UB2 (hopefully), or just be real hot -- lol. We can drive down Sunday afternoon, sing along with his CDs, and hit the tables for a bit before the concert. I'm a very decent, intellegent, funny, handsome man, with a real fun side. And Huey is going to be starring in Chicago on Broadway starting November 1st -- everyone should know that. So maybe we'll actually have something to look forward to for a second date. Okay, you don't necessarily have to wait that long.

Even more shocking than the Bowling For Soup thing…Huey Lewis still has "major fans?" I mean, I love "The Heart of Rock and Roll" as much as the next guy, but this is bordering on frightening. I'm scared. UB2 (hopefully).

Seeking date for Hall & Oates/Todd Rundgren at Foxwoods, 9/2

It's been ages since I had a gang of friends who wanted to see Todd play... and with Hall and Oates? Amazing.

I don't want to go to this show alone, and am looking for either a date or friend who will want to go with me. Dutch, of course. No expectations, and I imagine we'd take the train or whatever method of public transportation that would take us there and back.

Shoot me an email and let me know why you'd like to go, who you are, et alia. (PS, a pic of you would be great, too, if you want to send one. The last CL concert date I had was very much a troll...) As for me, typical 30s NYC hippie-chick, fun and smart and pretty.

Todd Rundgren with Hall & Oates at Foxwoods? Amazing, indeed, lady.

I don't know how you expect to find a dutch date to this shindig…I'd think you'd have to pay someone (quite a bit) to go to this with you. But what do I know? A lot of people seem to really go bananas for that "Bang the drum all day" song. Sigh.

Looking for hot girl to go to a concert with - m4w


I'm looking for a hot girl to go to a heavy metal show with this coming Friday. I'll pay for your admission and drinks. Not looking for sex or a hookup like everyone else on here just want a hot girl to hang out and see the show with, nothing more. Email me for details. Thanks.

Sweetheart, if you want a chick to go to a concert with you so that you can impress your friends with your hot pretend-girlfriend…you gots to PAY for that shit. Hot chick rentals ain't cheap, my friend. Personally, I pay my hot pretend-boyfriend $50 per appearance he makes with my friends…and let me tell you, that shit adds up.

Seeking Coldplay date - 40

I have an extra ticket for Coldplay at Madison Square Garden on Tuesday September 6. My tickets are section 314 row f and seats 4 & 5. Pretty decent seats. my treat

Seeking a female who is spontaneous, open minded, humorous, friendly, active, attractive, and intelligent to accompany me to the concert. My treat of course.

I am 40 yo single. 6-0 185# brownish blond hair and blue eyes. Well groomed, athletic, fit, active, humorous, and attractive (sorry for being so bold).

Please drop me a line with a picture. BE A COLDPLAY FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Why -- WHY -- why did this dude feel the need to include this terrifying picture of his eye at the end of his ad?? I mean, there are some vaguely frightening clues leading up to The Eye that were a tad unsettling…the reiteration of the phrase "my treat," the listing of the EXACT seat location of the tickets, the "sorry to be so bold" disclaimer, and finally, the mildly psychotic exclamation at the end "BE A COLDPLAY FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" But nothing could have prepared me for that creepy eye picture. Nothing.

Grateful Dead concert on TV... - m4w

i'd love to smoke and chill to the tune and make love. i've never smoked and had sex.

let's do this tonight

Wow, I'd like to say I understand, man, but if you will refer to the introductory paragraph of this column regarding Bob Marley, you'll see that I just…don't.

What year is this anyway? This kid wants to watch a Grateful Dead concert on…tv and…make love? Am I the only one who is totally confused?

Screw it. Let's toke up and do it. Keep on truckin' craigslist. Keep on truckin.'


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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.