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  WEEK IN CRAIG: A WHITER SHADE OF TRASH.  
  Amy Blair    
   
 

I recently came to a shocking realization about my life.

It all started with a simple, run of the mill trip to the grocery store in which I bought … tater tots. Then, while playing my mp3 player on someone's car speakers, it was pointed out to me that it wasn't exactly "cool" to have Bon Jovi songs that were recorded after 1987 on one's play list. The final incident occurred this past Friday night when I was sitting at home watching an episode of WWE Raw on my DVR, drinking Coors Light (in the can), while periodically throwing back shots of tequila. Suddenly a flash of recognition went off in my brain like a Big Cat firecracker in a trailer park on the Fourth of July that I'm … well … white trash.

I like to bowl. I'm not against frying bologna. I've got a lower back tattoo. I have purchased car parts at a junkyard on multiple occasions. I thoroughly enjoy shooting bb guns. I've been to a Monster Truck Rally. I wear a Harley Davidson tshirt. Sometimes, I cut my own bangs.

The evidence was all right there before me…I just had to open my eyes to finally see it.

Think craigslist is only for you sexually deviant, money hungry, well-heeled, god-hating city folk? Think again, assholes. Break out your banjos (but leave your guns at the door!), because this week we're heading into one great big craigslist tractor pull. Yee. Fucking. Ha.

Free Mobile home in Augusta

I am giving away a 70 x 14 mobile home it was on some land I bought in Augusta WV.Im guessing about the 70 feet but its long and when I measured using my feet it was about 70.It was occupied by renters so was in use ,electric and plumbing seems fine needs some floors repaired(small holes were badly patched )and carpet is gone or in bad shape were there is some.generally in ok shape panelling, fixtures,but needs paint cleaning etc.Have not seen roof but it probably needs sealer.havent noticed any wet spots but some leaking has happened in the past.But hay its FREE to whoever can haul it out needs the tongue and axels .they were removed and I cant find them on the property.I need it gone in the next week so I can start building in its spot.otherwise it will be bulldozed.email for info or directions .can be mved tue or wed of next week or the weekend.It would make a good hunter/storage or live in place with repairs its definately better than alot Ive seen in the area Ive had some local interest but apparently they cant afford the 4-500 to move it.This would be worth keeping but I just dont need another trailer.already have one there.Im gonna take some pics this weekend so email and ill send them.

I was about to make fun of this and then I thought better of it. A friend of mine lives in a studio apartment that's about 20 x 14. It has no closets, and because of an unusual traffic situation outside of her apartment, she hears honking all night long. The ceiling in her bathroom recently leaked during a rainstorm…her landlord didn't come to clean it up right away, and a mushroom actually started growing out of her bathroom ceiling. The other day she had a gas leak. Her apartment's in a pretty hip part of town…but by white trash standards, it would probably be appropriate for hunter storage…if you can afford the four hundred bucks to haul it away.

Oh, and by the way, I have no idea what tongue and axels are, but I'm pretty sure that I need them as well.

Just remembering the first time we met at behind the Olive GArden . You were a little late, but it was still awesome. Then at Applebees in Birmingham. Wish I could find you again. Hope your doing well.......

Aren't white trash dating rituals so cute? Nothing spells r-o-m-a-n-c-e like unlimited salad and breadsticks (especially if you throw in a trip to the stock car races on the third date). Hospitaliano!

COME JOIN US AND BE A PART OF SOMETHING GREAT!

COME AS YOU ARE NO MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED!
Yes come to church join us for Sunday services
and its okay to bring a friend and family.
Bright Star Missionary Church
9650 Lake June Rd
Dallas, TX 75217

Come Join us Sunday School 9 am
Sunday Service Start at 10 am.


Be a part of something great Bright Star!

Those lovable god-fearing Texans! They're so … wacky!

By the way, ending sentences with "Bright Star!" is my new favorite game.

Example: "Ughhh, I ate too many breadsticks Bright Star!" Or, "What this here pizza needs is more Ranch dressing Bright Star!"

It's just such a nice, easy way to turn a sentence-frown upside down…

Forklift Rental?

Hi, I am helping my folks move to Kyles Ford TN and we will need to rent a forklift (the bigger the better) when we arrive this coming week.

Would someone recommend either a company or an individual that we could rent from? The closer to Rogersville, Sneadville and Kyles Ford the better.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give!

I'm sorry, but every time I've moved, I've rented a Uhaul and bribed a couple of my more pliable friends with endless devotion and donuts to help me carry my Ikea futons and bookshelves from one location to the next…what in the name of all holy hell does one need a forklift for in order to move?!

Well, this IS Tennessee, after all … maybe they need a forklift to move their fat asses?

Case in point…

Free size 9XL men's clothes

Free new, gently used clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts,etc. Delivery possible.

Wow. 9X. I had no idea that was even possible. Where does one even get size 9X clothes?!!

Oh wait…

Walmart Woman - 27

Lady at Walmart who helped me pick a Wood Floor cleaning liquid - Pledge, where are you at? I want to Thank you for your help. I was wondering if you read this, can you please get in touch with me?

I've never been to a Wal Mart in my life but I have a funny feeling that if I went to one, I'd totally be the chick giving out hand jobs (oops, I mean, floor cleaning advice!) next to the cleaning product display.

Clean up in aisle four!

 

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Hit up The Week in Craig Archive.

 

Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.