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  Amy Blair    

The other day I was playing with a friend's iPod (and I swear I mean that in the least pervy way possible … for once) when I discovered that this person (whose anonymity I shall preserve for obvious reasons) had been listening to … Limp Bizkit's "Nookie."

I immediately erupted into laughter, announced it to everyone in the room, and called him a meathead frat boy who prays every night for a return to 1999, because that was the last time he got laid.

He promptly removed the offending iPod from my hands, called me a music snob, and wondered aloud why I had any friends at all.

I quickly looked around the room for back-up. "Nookie, guys, he's got Nookie on his iPod! Who's with me?! That's downright absurd!" To my surprise, nobody backed me up. Instead, they all half-heartedly shrugged … everyone's got something embarrassing on their iPod. "But it's NOOKIE!"

"For Christ's sake, Blair, you listen to fucking Avril Lavigne."

And on that note, has anyone ever looked at the Cds/dvds/vhs section on craigslist? Sure is a lot of crap in there. And you can take THAT cookie and stick it up your (yeah!).

Musical Saw & Bells CD - $10

For a uniqu Christmas musical treat listen to the heavenly sound of the musical saw with the joyous sounds of English handbells and pitched cowbells, performed by critically acclaimed musical saw & bell player Natalia Paruz at

Here is what some people have said about this unique CD:

Zubin Mehta, conductor of the Israel Philharmonic has said: "Natalia is the best saw player I've ever worked with".

Garrison Keillor, of 'A Prairie Home Companion' has called her "Our official musical saw player".

William Bolcom, Pulitzer Prize winning composer said: "Amazing and quite musical in the expressiveness she was able to get from a tableful of bells. Brava!" "The musical saw numbers are particularly striking."

Peter Schickele, aka PDQ Bach said: "Natalia Paruz not only plays the saw beautifully (the idea of playing a carpenter's saw seems funny, but the sound itself is haunting), she's also a terrific musician. This recording displays the carols in new and refreshing settings."

For a Totally Unique Christmas Gift … Your Favorite Christmas Tunes Like You've Never Heard Them Before!

Blending the exquisite sounds of the musical saw, English handbells ('Peace On Earth'), and pitched cowbells ('Jingle COWbells'), this is a one-of-a-kind CD that I hope you will want to own as well as to share with friends and relatives.

Its 12 tracks consist of original arrangements of an eclectic mix of favorite carols.

Please check it out at

Hey, dudes, I bet Natalia gives really fucking awesome head! Jingle these fucking cowbells, bitch!

Heartbreak Hotel / It's Not Right ....WHITNEY HOUSTON - $2

Heartbreak Hotel/It's Not... [Maxi Single]

Heartbreak Hotel / It's Not Right But It's Okay

01) Heartbreak hotel (Album Version)
02) Heartbreak hotel (Hex Hector Radio Mix)
03) Heartbreak hotel (Hex Hector Club Mix)
04) It's not right but it's okay (Thunderpuss 2000 Radio Mix)
05) It's not right but it's okay (Thunderpuss 2000 Club Mix)
06) It's not right but it's okay (Thunderpuss 2000 Dub)
07) It's not right but it's okay (Johnny Vicious Radio Mix)
08) It's not right but it's okay (Johnny Vicious Momentous Mix)
09) It's not right but it's okay (Johnny Vicious Dub)




Hey, did you hear the one about Whitney? What do Whitney Houston and Laura Bush have in common? They both liked to blow a little dope.

Ba dum dum!

(Sorry! So sue me, the guy selling this cd is too much of a freak for even me to bother with).

Marty Levitt: King of the Klezmers & Bar Mitzvah Favorites On 3 CD's!
Reply to:
Date: 2005-11-02, 9:19PM EST

Three Great CD'S of the best in Klezmer & Bar Mitzvah & Wedding Music, from the legendary Marty Levitt & his Clarinet & All-Star musical ensemble. The best Klezmer Musicians are featured throughout these three historic albums. This 3 CD Collection, is a must for all lovers of Jewish music. You can order your CD's by calling 212/245-3838. All Credit Cards accepted. You can view these three CD's herein. Thank You, & back covers of the CD's are herein enclosed:

Wait, call 212/245-3838? That number sounds vaguely familiar … oh, I remember now! That's BlackTable Managing Editor A.J. Daulerio's "special hotline!" A.J., you crazy kid, are you selling Jewish clarinet music now as well as candy corn and hand jobs!? I just don't know HOW you do it!

Here are some more KISS VHS videos for sale, 40 to be exact. All this KISS footage were acquired by me through trades and buying them from others over the years. These are all unavailable in stores, you get the idea. You go to a KISS convention or music convention and see these all over the place, heck even everywhere on eBay.

Please keep in mind these are on VHS, *not* DVD. They do *not* have covers, and the labels they have are hand-written. The footage has been put on used videotapes, so there's a movie or something that the KISS feature is taped over, and you'll see the end of it on the video after the KISS part is over. But the tapes aren't too old. For the most part the quality of the KISS footage is great for this sort of thing. Why am I selling? I transferred all these on DVD for myself, to save room in the apartment mainly and to clear out videotapes, and now you can have tons of KISS to watch for a ludicriously low price.

How low? Just 30 bucks for the lot. 30 bucks not worth 40 KISS videotapes? C'mon! If you like KISS this is a treasure trove. Concerts, compilations, even their movie in two versions! Just 30 dollars for all 31 VHS tapes and many hours of KISS viewing. Heck, 30 bucks in the day would have paid for only 2-3 of these, and will pay for about 2 DVDs now of these.

But hey, don't want to spend money? I'll trade these a used TV series on DVD, I can always use some new viewing. Or, if you have some good single DVDs you feel I may like. Let me know what you are offering!

Most disturbing part about this ad? The opening sentence in which he states "here are some more KISS VHS videos for sale … " Dude, how many fucking Kiss videos did you have to begin with? I mean, I wanna rock and roll all night as much as the next gal … but really.

I know, I know -- I'm such a fucking music snob. Sigh.


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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.