back to the Black Table
  Amy Blair    

It's almost Thanksgiving, kids, which means that in but six short days ladies across this great nation will be waking up in a state of pre-dawn panic (I forgot to buy the yams! Is it okay to seat Clark next to Patricia, even after that thing that happened last year? How many minutes do I cook the asparagus??) … for the sheer, yet wholly under appreciated joy of ramming their fists up a cold, dead bird's ass, tying it's legs together and pinning it's skin with a poultry skewers (wee!) … because god damn it, this is going to be the best darned turkey on the block!

Hours later, Grandma will be drunk on wine spritzers, Bobby will be on the couch screaming at Drew Bledsoe, and Laurie will be upstairs smoking pot out the bathroom window. Everyone will recognize this as good family time together, and at the end of the night mom will take one of her pills, and dad will fall asleep in "his chair," holding a turkey sandwich in one hand, the remote control in the other, farting up a peaceful and contented storm.

God I love this holiday (when else do you get to drink spritzers?).

Now Here's a Reason to Give Thanks! - 31

With the holiday approaching, I've decided to seek a reason other than the traditional ones to be thankful for. I recently had my first experience with CE on Craig and it turned out spectacularly. I'd love to repeat the success, and perhaps smile over Thanksgiving dinner knowing there's a lucky lady sitting at her own Thanksgiving meal squirming uncontrollably remembering out last encounter and anticipating the next.

Anyway, I'm a good-looking, 31 year old male, caucasian, brown hair (95% of it), hazel eyes, in greatshape (workout six days a week), educated, professionally employed, sane. I'm also clean, discrete, endowed and experienced. If you're interested in having something to be thankful for on a regular basis with no expectation of more, are a intelligent, sexy woman who takes as much pride in your appearance as I do, drop me a line with your pic, I'll get you mine, and we'll see where it goes from there. We can meet for drinks or dinner, and maybe more than the turkey will get stuffed this week.

Maybe it's just the use of the word "squirming" in and of itself, but for some reason his fantasy of some chick he found on Casual Encounters getting all hot and bothered at the dinner table on Thanksgiving makes me nothing short of violently ill. It never occurred to me before, but now that it did, I'm ranking "squirming" right up there with "moist," "chunk," and "panties" on the all-time grossest words list. Shiver.

Right. Moving on. So, speaking of getting your turkey stuffed…

STUFF me like a thanksgiving turkey! - m4w

MWM, tall, slim, well dressed, conservative looking, seeking a lady that wants to pound me with her strap on. Not looking for anything but to be your slut. Bend over this bitchboy and violate my virgin ass!

Clean, discreet and D&D free.

It's refreshing to see such unique and charming wit on craigslist!

Hey, can anyone tell me why it's always the well-dressed conservative-looking ones who want a lady to pound their asses with a strap-on? Either they want you pounding their asses, pissing on them, or they want to suckle you and call you Mama. It's downright exhausting.

time to give thanks like all good pilgrims should w4m -w4mwm - w4mw

Yes, I am a Mayflower Madam, my ancestors were actually on the boat (although in my 30's, i don't consider myself over the hill yet myself). And now, here it is, time to celebrate this day that many Americans seem to think belongs to football and too much food. If you are one of them, don't answer. Well, the too much food part might be do-able provided it's decadent and not gluttonous.
If you think that a lot more fun is to be had on turkey day, do let me know, I've found myself stranded all by my little lonesome here in NY over the holidays. I'm thinking along the lines of a couple or single guy that's maybe in the same situation and wants a little company, or else is going to be spending the day with friends and wouldn't mind me joining in (as a friend from work or whatever you care to say). Of course, we could meet briefly up front so that you can see i'm not a physical embarrassment, i know how to mind my manners and act like a civilized human being, if you're worried about such things reflecting badly on you. . .and if, over the course of a few drinks and pleasant time spent together, we decide there's enough chemistry to evolve into an evening we can truly be thankful for, well, then. . .i would be very thankful indeed. . .

Don't you just love a good non-sequitur such as "my ancestors were on the Mayflower but I don't consider myself old yet." As though one thing has anything to do with the other…

With that said, this chick's a total SLUTBAG! You don't find many of those on craigslist. Usually it's only the men who are deluded enough to think that they are going to actually find someone to fulfill their one-night stand fantasies (stuff some turkeys, if you will) on the internet. I say bravo to this hoochie mama…let's all give thanks for her trail-blazing ho-ishness.

Hey, my ancestors came from Ireland but I don't consider myself that boring!


Are you planning to traveling for this thanksgiving holiday and looking for company? I'm very attractive, exotic, refined, sexy, educated, foreign born, single F. who has no family in this country and got no particular plans for this holiday yet. If you are cute single sweet gentleman, swm looking for somebody to invite over to your trip, I'd love to hear from you. If interested, please tell a bit about you and send a pic.

Also if you like buy Russian bride I like go home with you Mr. Big Handsome Rich American man!!! Give $3,000 to Vladimir and we go sex without condoms. Marriage?

Make me proud this Thanksgiving, craigslisters, and may you all stick your hand up an ass this holiday season. A turkey ass, that is. Gobble, gobble!


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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.