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  THE MIDWEST VS. THE MIDEAST: A PICTORIAL ANALYSIS.  
   
   
   

In the U.S., the Midwest is hotbed of many things. Cheese. Churches. Mudflaps. Gun racks. And fervent patriotism ... the fuel that has given George W. Bush the support needed to bring war to the Middle East and a large lead over John Kerry. For its part, the MidEast is a hotbed of things that have kept America's Midwest on edge, namely, radical Islam, rocket-propelled grenades and hostage-taking sociopaths who broadcast beheadings on TV.

All of this begs the question: "Which is better -- the Midwest or MidEast?"

Before we start, lets get a look at the difference between the two.

The AP Stylebook defines the mideast as "southwest Asia west of Pakistan and Afghanistan (Iran, Iraq, Israel, Kuwait, Jordan, Lebanon, Oman, Qatar, Suadi Arabia, South Yemen, Syria, Turkey, United Arab Emirates and Yemen), northeastern Africa (Egypt and Sudan) and the island of Cyprus. (Whoa! Do the Greeks know about this?)

Of the Midwest, the AP says "definitions vary, but the term generally applies to the 12 states that the US Census Bureau includes in the North Central region (Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, Wisconsin, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota and South Dakota).

Get it? Got it? Good -- let's break it down.

 

   
Category
Midwest
MidEast
Winner
 
               
 
Fashion
       
MidEast.
 
 
           
 
 
Food
       
MidEast.
 
 
           
 
 
Treatment of Women
       
Tie.
 
 
           
 
 
Pets
       
Midwest...
hands down.
 
 
           
 
 
Entertainment
       
Midwest...
but barely.
 
 
           
 
 
Holy Scripture
 
"Non-believers will go to hell and be burned by fire."

(Paraphrased from Revelations 14:9)
   
"Non-believers will go to hell and drink boiling water."
(Paraphrased from Koran 14:16)
 
Tie.
 
 
           
 
 
Transportation
       
Wait...
 
 
           
 
 
Weaponry
       
...uh...
 
 
           
 
 
Political Leaders
       
...nevermind.