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Logo: Matt Dorfman
LOVE HIM,
HATE HIM -- YOU SIMPLY CAN'T IGNORE HIM THIS TIME. -- Will
Leitch
George W. Bush is the guy, isn't he? I'm watching him on television
right now and it is amazing to me that this man is able to inspire such
violent emotions -- pro and con. I am from a generation that, frankly,
has never given a shit. We are paralyzed with indecision and uncertainty,
we are growing too old too fast, we don't understand it, it's all creeping
up on us, we didn't know the shit we thought didn't matter really did,
you know? We tried to pretend this shit didn't affect us. We were so wrong.
We tried to hide. We tried to put off the future. We failed. We failed
big time.
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WEEK IN CRAIG:
PROTESTER ROLLS HER WAY RIGHT INTO SLAMMER. -- Amy Blair
I decided to bust out my brand-spanking new rollerblades and went
careening into a group of about 30 cops in riot gear on duty in midtown
along the West Side Highway, screaming all the way "I can't stop,
I can't stop!" Had I thought of it ahead of time, I could have carried
a ripped-up American flag, and then I totally would have gotten handcuffed
and might have even made the cover of the New York Post with some kind
of super catchy headline like "Protester Rollerblades Her Way Right
Into The Slammer!"
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NOW IT'S TIME
TO SAY GOODBYE, TO ALL OUR COMPANY... -- Kristen French, Frank
Smith & Audrey Ference
With the convention finally behind us, The Black Table has taken
a moment to reflect on all the things we've learned about the politics
and protesting and policework. After that moment passed, we promptly went
to the airport to suckerpunch and rob unsuspecting delegates who had the
rosy glow of those who never, not even for a second, had a single real
New York experience over the last four days. After blazing a trail of
carnage through LaGuardia and J.F.K., we promptly returned home to sort
through whatever pictures we hadn't run yet. Here they are. MORE
THE VIEW
FROM THE FLOOR. -- Jason Reich
The stage is big. Real big. It's hard to tell from the cable news
coverage, but a runway extends about 30 feet in front of the podium, terminating
in a circular stairway that looks kind of like a flattened, many-tiered
wedding cake. Another podium hidden in the top stair raises up so the
more prominent speakers can address the crowd from a thrust stage. The
whole thing looks more suitable for a fashion show or Busby Berkeley production
number than for a speech about terrorism. But what is a national political
convention if not a week-long production number?
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DUDE WHERE'S
MY PEN? CRASHING THE REPUBLICAN'S PARTY. -- Rachel Sklar, Greg Paulos
& Anastasia Liapis
10:54: Joe Pantoliano steps on to the red carpet, looking dapper in
a trendy newsboy cap and tinted glasses. Microphones are thrust in his
face and he starts to talk. 10:57: Rachel discovers that she has lost
her pen in the cab. Anastasia only has cigarettes, tampons and lip gloss.
Greg has one pen and one puny notepad. BEST REPORTERS EVER! 10:59: Joe
Pantoliano is still talking.
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EVERY NIGHT SHE
JUST CAN'T STOP, I SAID NEW YORK CITY COPS... NEW YORK CITY COPS...
-- Rachel Williams
The initial salvo of protest that welcomed the Republicans was like
a cuddly basket of puppies, with the cops making smoochy woochy faces
and patting political dissenters on the heads. But like a basket of animals
that constantly needs to be fed and walked and played with, the cops became
annoyed with the endless prospect of wrangling thousands and thousands
of people holding wooden signs. As of Thursday, the protests got a bit
more heated and more than 1,000 people have been arrested. Granted, we
didn't take pictures of policemen in RoboCop mode, but we did take pictures
of New York's Finest doing other policey things. MORE
THE AXIS
OF EVE WANTS TO LICK BUSH & OTHER DOUBLE ENTENDRES. --
Rachel Kramer Bussel, photos by Kristen French
The crowd of mostly young women looked like their own kind of army
as they shook their booties, cheering and smiling and simply showing off
their coordinated attire, largely meant to speak for itself. Lois Weaver,
a Manhattan resident who sported a sign saying "More Fucking, Less
Fighting" (as well as "Fuck Bush" panties, a boa, and heart
designs over her bare breasts) was happy to strip down, proudly proclaiming
this the first protest where she had the chance to take her clothes off
for peace. MORE
A TIMELINE
OF UNCONVENTIONAL MOMENTS IN U.S. HISTORY. -- Tom Zoellner
What really is unique in this era of stage-managed conventions
is the obsessive search for the "defining moment" -- the crack
in the façade, the moment when one of the actors forgets his lines
and has to improvise. Goofs, missteps, flashes of anger, unscripted embarrassments
-- all of these qualify as the prized "defining moments" that
have the power to turn elections and influence world history. Here is
the Black Table's list of Defining Moments in Convention History.
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SCENES FROM THE
FOX NEWS SHUT UP A-THON. -- Rachel Sklar
On Tuesday, about 1,000 protesters gathered outside the Fox Studios
on Sixth Avenue to hold the Fox News Shut Up A-Thon. Like
a Mardi Gras for anarchists, they came in silly costumes, yelled at suit-wearing
passersby and took turns beating up a three-foot tall effigy of Bill O'Reilly.
Police in riot gear were on hand to control the crowd, making the occasional
arrest, and we were on hand with our digital camera making the occasional
picture. MORE
THE
SECRET SERVICE VIOLATED MY CIVIL RIGHT TO TAKE BORING PICTURES FOR A FEW
MINUTES. -- Audrey Ference
The afternoon started off so innocent. I was peacefully getting
shots of people standing around, my imaginary press pass dangling non-existantly
from my neck, looking for anything that might resemble excitement. While
trying to figure out how to get a giant security gate to look superimposed
on a tacky, Madison Square Garden-sized poster of the Statue of Liberty
(that's fucking art, dude), a guy in a bright orange vest with "Secret
Service" written on it (shh, it's a secret) starts yelling... MORE
MISTER
PRESIDENT: THE THIRD-PARTY CANDIDATE YOU CAN PET. -- Christy
Goldfeder
BT: Mister President, you have the perfect name for the job. But
what qualifications do you have to lead our nation? Mr. P: When I walk
into a room, it's pretty clear who's the top dog. And even though I have
not held an elected office, I believe Americans want someone who's not
afraid to go after what they believe in with an iron will and determination.
I always say, a treat in the hand is as good as two in my mouth. But you
don't have to take my word for it. Ask any squirrel in the East Village.
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THE BLACK
LIST: CHAOS! MAYHEM! HUGS IN THE STREETS! -- The Black Table
"We got a tip that one of these guys had a weapon in their backpacks,"
the cop said. "We're gonna search the backpacks, and if they don't
have a weapon, they're free to go." They didn't have any weapons
-- or weed, for that matter -- so they were dispatched and sent on their
way. We know this is the type of good behavior that we're supposed to
be smiling at
but I dunno. It was all so
nice. We kind of
wanted a little rowdiness, you know? If just to run away from it, like
little girls. 10 reviews this week.
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WATER +
T-SHIRTS + GIRLS = BEST PROTEST EVER? -- Greg Paulos
Orlando Fonseca came to the Anti-Bush wet T-shirt contest with
dreams of mammary activism. But he, like this reporter, was frustrated
by the lack of turn-out. "I just wanted to watch large-breasted women
get wet," said Mr. Fonseca, 28, of the failed protest. But not all
was lost: "I got to go to the Museum of Sex -- which wasn't all that
after all the hype -- and I got to sign up at Toys in Babeland for a class
on how to master the ability to entertain the g-spot -- not that I need
the skills."
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THEY'RE
HERE! THEY'RE WEIRD! GET USED TO IT! -- Frank Smith & Audrey
Ference
Don't stop 'til you get enough.
And we simply cannot get enough amusing
photos from that little protest on Sunday. In today's installment, we
turn our cameras on photographers, protest fashion choices and the role
that Cubism has played in costume design during this year's convention.
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INCOMING!
AUGUST 30, 2004. -- A.D. Amorosi
Does welcome-wagoning Mayor Michael Bloomberg really think the convivial
cartoons and the egregious congeniality pasted onto its NYCVisit.com's
site and its discount-saving Peaceful Political Activists plan will help
detract from the seething hatred that people of sense, color, and soul
feel for the RNC? Let's head straight to our first night out with the
Republicans and their speakers. They're heading for you. And they aren't
veering.
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WELCOME TO NEW
YORK CITY, PLEASE GO HOME NOW. -- Ross
Tucker &
Sandra Barron
Protesters are funny. This was
a rather obvious takeaway from Sunday's big welcoming party for the R.N.C.
that was held all over New York City. We also learned that free speech
and the F-bomb go hand-in-hand, that some people mistakenly believe pachouli
can mask overwhelming body odor, and that paper mache dragons are voting
Democratic this year. We were in the streets taking photos on Sunday.
Here's a look at what we saw. MORE
SAY HELLO
TO MY L'IL FRIENDLY ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. --
Whitney Pastorek
Blah blah blah, it's a big trend,
people have left town because of the Republican National Convention. As
for the people who are staying? When they're not rubbing the belly of
the disturbingly overweight bomb-sniffing dog named Magic that our building
management has place in our lobby for the next few days, they're discussing
how hellish our life is going to be and how, exactly, they can jimmy open
the windows so they can drop shit on people from the 28th floor. Apparently
there is some sort of fine for doing that.
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BUSH MAKES
'EM SO SICK, THEY CAN'T HELP BUT UKE. -- Ross Tucker
Tom Harker is one of the rabble-rousers
the NY tabloids have been warning people about, an outsider coming to
New York for the sole purpose of causing trouble during the RNC. Like
any good cleric, shaman, mullah, self-proclaimed prophet -- take your
pick -- he's organized a group of like-minded evil-doers to meet here
and join him in his cause. He flew in last Friday, easily getting his
weapon of choice through airport security. After all, people often underestimate
the power of the ukulele, but not Harker. MORE
MOVE ON,
NEXT TO NOTHING TO SEE HERE. -- Angela
Leroux Lindsey
Just one block and four days away
from the Republican National Convention, the grassroots political organization
MoveON PAC hosted its first major event Tuesday at the Hammerstein Ballroom.
Intent on rallying support for Presidential hopeful John Kerry, MoveOn
members emphasized that 10 weeks separate now and November 2nd; thousands
of Democrats gathered to motivate a movement that could possibly affect
the election. Of course, no political event would be complete without
a little Hollywood infusion. MORE
WHOSE STREETS?
UH, LIKE, OUR STREETS! -- Frank Smith
You do have to hand it to Mayor Bloomberg
for thinking out of the proverbial box, albeit with good nature of an
out-of-touch parent. The Peaceful Political Activists visitors program
offers a variety of discounts for restaurants, hotels, plays and shopping
to keep the protestors distracted from the convention, or at the very
least provide them with such a delightful holiday in the Big Apple that
they'll come back to protest again. Here's a look at what they're giving
you to chant in unison with strangers. MORE
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Click here
to read The Black Table's coverage from the Democratic National Convention.

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