back to the Black Table
                       
    NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE, TO ALL OUR COMPANY...    
    Christy Goldfeder,Kristen French, Frank SmithAudrey Ference      
   
   
   

With the convention finally behind us, The Black Table has taken a moment to reflect on all the things we've learned about the politics and protesting and policework. After that moment passed, we promptly went to the airport to suckerpunch and rob unsuspecting delegates who had the rosy glow of those who never, not even for a second, had a single real New York experience over the last four days. After blazing a trail of carnage through LaGuardia and J.F.K., we promptly returned home to sort through whatever pictures we hadn't run yet. Here they are.

 

   
   


The second Jim's dad emerged from his hotel room wearing that stupid barrel and USA top hat, he began to regret not paying the extra $80 a month to put him in the nursing home, instead of springing for the weekly hospice visit.

 

   


Everyone at CNN knew that Fox News was totally kicking their ass in the ratings this week, but only Lola the intrepid intern was willing to do something about it. Because if the people wouldn't come to the news, dammit, Lola was gonna bring it to 'em personally.

 

   
   


Tina didn't care how many blocks that George Bush robot followed her for, or how many times he called her "sweetheart," there was simply no way she was voting Republican after seeing those insipid Bush twins introduce their dad. As her grampy always said, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

 

   
"I was working in the Oval Office late one night / When my eyes beheld an eerie sight / For my President from his slab began to rise / And suddenly to my surprise / He did the mash / He did the monster mash..."
   
   


According to Title 4, Chapter 1, Section 8, Part D of the laws governing the display of the American flag, "the flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery." But, I mean, those chicks were really hot. You don't honestly expect anyone to enforce that, do you?

 

   


Gary, Tony, Rick and Al were pumped to hit up Ruth's Chris steakhouse for rare porterhouses and baked potatoes that were bigger than their fuckin' heads. But when they saw that cute girl standing next to the peanut, imploring them to go vegetarian, Zen Palate was the only place in town for them.

 

   
   


Little known fact: All of Univision's news anchors are under four feet tall, allowing the networks to save money on travel, by shipping them in aluminum cases, along with all that camera stuff.

 

   
How good is the Falun Gong? In addition to spending the week reminding us all how the Chinese regime oppresses religion, they've also been checking blood pressure, giving back messages and accepting blood donations.
   
         
Chuck wasn't really a big fan of Boyz II Men, but as the convention came to a close, he surprised himself by bursting into song. "I thought we'd get to see forever. But forever's gone away. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday..."
   
   

 

Want More?

DAY 5: NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE, TO ALL OUR COMPANY...

DAY 4: EVERY NIGHT SHE JUST CAN'T STOP,
I SAID NEW YORK CITY COPS... NEW YORK CITY COPS...

DAY 3: SCENES FROM THE FOX NEWS SHUT UP A-THON.

DAY 2: THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE WEIRD! GET USED TO IT!

DAY 1: WELCOME TO NEW YORK CITY, PLEASE GO HOME NOW.

 


Click to Visit the RNC Archive.