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  THE WEEK IN CRAIG!  
   
   
 

Craig's List is an online free bulletin board where anyone can post classified ads of nearly any kind. There are Craig's Lists, or CL's, for most large cities, featuring helpful ads for things like housing, jobs, items for sale, personals and, most entertainingly, Missed Connections and Casual Encounters.

These last two, despite their ostensibly practical purposes, have devolved into a free-for-all where rumors are spread, bad poetry is written, battles are won and lost, and hearts are broken, all for our entertainment. The Week In Craig is your guide to the most fascinating accidental literary magazine on the web.

 
   
 

In Craig's List this week: Special Pointless Arguments Edition! A look at threesomes, the effect of bricks on penises and the Lothario that is Jay Schultz.

There's so much turmoil in the world today. Is our government doing the right thing? Is Saddam really as much of a threat as they tell us? And…

Did this guy's girlfriend really want a threesome?

Her friend spent the night last week, and my g/f said that we should all sleep in the same bed, even though we have 2 empty guest bedrooms…

All 3 of us slept together but nothing happened. Her friend, who is pretty hot, got up and went to shower in the morning and then my g/f and I started fooling around.

Was I too dumb to notice that my g/f wanted to do a 3some, or was it all just innocent?

Listers respond with advice:

Are you out of your mind?

Why didn't you go for it? Just let your fingers do the walking and see where it leads to. If you get rejected, so what. The risk is worth it.

Why didn't you just ask your girlfriend?

I disagree with the post that said just go for it - if your girlfriend wasn't into it, it could really threaten your relationship, but there is no harm in asking, because clearly it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

DO NOT broach the subject with your girlfriend:

AND for God's sake don't let your fingers just do the walking. What? Are you just gonna make your girlfriends' hand gently stroke her friend's breast?? YEAHHHHH.

Then, some prude chimes in to ruin everybody's fun (commentary mine):

Why why must it be the case that a guy must look at every single woman as his next lay, as you seem to imply? (Because they're guys. How old are you?)

I mean, can't a woman trust her boyfriend not to have to want to have sex with her friends?
(Of course not! You can't fight nature!)

I don't get it. This is why I'm single.
(True, and true.)

I tried the sex "devoid of emotional connection" and it's fun once or twice and then it sucks and gets weird. whatever, man. why can't a guy be good friends with his ladies' friends? why does sex have to be a part of it? i've been friends with plenty of my previous boyfriends' friends. i suppose you'll tell me they all wanted to have sex with me.
shit.
(Yes, they did. But it's nothing to be upset about!)

Wait! There's a fun girl out there too!

I have so much sympathy for the friend/sex/3some situation. Of COURSE you want to sleep with your girlfriend's friend. I wanted to sleep with all my ex-boyfriends friends even though I was completely in love with him. Hello, your girlfriend hangs out with girls similar to her, you like her, therefore you're probably going to like her friends too.

Now that my boyfriend and I have broken up I have been dating his friends like crazy...it's perfect, because I get what I was lusting after AND I love knowing that some of it gets back to him. So far it is not messy, and fun as hell.

Those sound like famous last words.

I think this was comprehensively addressed in When Harry Met Sally, but this guy has a nice way of putting it:

it's not just your friends -- men want to have sex with everyone they encounter, even on the nights out with their significant others: The waitress that brings you your romantic dinner, the cashier where you buy the post-dinner bottle of wine, the woman he held the door for on the way out of the liquor store, every single woman you guys pass on the way home, and yes, your roommates, your friends, your sisters, and sometimes even your mother. that's just the way nature made us.

Next Big Question: Are people named Jay Schultz pricks? Jay Shultz your (sic) a prick Your (sic) a two timing jerk. Ladies Beware!! Don't believe a word this guy says!

Yahoo! People Search lists 80 "Jay Schultz"s and twelve "Jay Shultz"s in New York City, but that didn't deter Craig's Listers from turning him into a big topic of debate!

Someone agrees: amen to you, girlfriend...he's a lyin', cheatin', shallow-ass m.f.!!!!

Someone wants to clarify: Are you talking about the Jay Schultz that went to Fordham Law School?

Why yes, he did: Yes He went to Fordham. So he said. Ladies beware He portrays himself like an innocent schoolboy but he's really a scummy lying two timing jerk. I'll give you the low down.

But wait! There's more gossip: ready for this one: He's engaged!!!

More of Jay's exes (this guy gets around!), there's Her, and Her.

This one just heard bad things about him.

And this one is just kidding (probably).

Whoa! The fiancee speaks out!

I am engaged to Jay and I am neither naive or stupid. We have a very open relationship and as a matter of fact I have seen most of his flings on videotape anyway.

Wow! She sounds cool. A happy ending for all…or is it?

More from the fiancee:

By the way Jen... you looked great on the video Jay gave me!!! Didn't you wonder why he kept looking over to the closet?? He may have lied to all of you, but Jay and I are two of a kind and like having an open relationship... sorry if anyone got their feelings hurt, but you shouldn't walk around this world with your eyes closed... you never know who could slip and fall deep inside you. At least it looks like most of you enjoyed it...

Okay, so maybe she's not so cool.

People stuck up for him here. And here. Until someone finally pointed out the obvious: Did ya ever consider that there might be more than one person w/the name "Jay Shultz"? There are probably tons.


Some other pointless arguments on CL this week:

Is this guy an asshole, or what?

Is this chick kidding, or what?

Why can't this tall girl get a date?

What the hell is this person talking about, and why did it start a pointless argument about whether or not white women suck?

Exercises for the penis that involve bricks: good, or bad?

And one that isn't pointless, but probably in the wrong place.

Also on Craig's List this week:

I think this is that "meta" stuff I read about in the New Yorker.

And I thought Jack was scraping the bottom with Lara Fake-Lips.

Can't Beat the Real Thing, or The Joy of P-----

And (all the way from San Francisco) ... get in line!


*BT*

Lindsay Robertson sits and plays with Craig’s List, all day, every day. You should too.